4 FOR THE WEEKEND
where our ghosts are better than yours.
So let’s get to it, starting with…..
We’re Almost There…
We promise.
The end is nearly here.
Starting next weekend, no more bloody Halloween events.
And certainly fewer events involving anything to do with pumpkins.
So hang in there. We’re almost done…
Click here for more.
Last Chance, Part I
For those of you who are brain-damaged enough to actually enjoy being scared to death this weekend is your last chance to experience some pretty crazy stuff.
We’ve always wondered what it is in the human psyche that actually welcomes this kind of thing. After years of research and careful study, we’ve arrived at the answer:
Like everything else, it’s driven by sex.
You’re welcome.
Click here for more.
Last Chance Part II
Now remember what we said about pumpkins above.
Again, we’re talking the end of the line now.
One more weekend full of pumpkins and then, kaput!
(In all seriousness, it’s a very nice time.)
Click here for more.
And Finally…
Ok, let’s get right down to it.
Q: What is the point of Halloween?
A: The maximization of candy inflow.
This is more true than ever, given that candy now costs approximately the same as a mortgage on a mid-level condo.
So, our financial advice is to a) hit up as many of these community trick-or-treat events as possible and b) have your kids go house-to-house at like 9pm, when everybody is trying to unload their remaining candy. You can score some serious
poundage (in many senses of the word) using this ancient technique.
Happy Halloween!
Click here for more.
We’ve given up on predicting the weather. The Weather Channel is always wrong. You’re on your own, folks.
If, for whatever reason, none of our fabulous four events doesn’t pop your cork, we’ll be very insulted. However, all hope is not lost. Simply go to www.foxvalleymagazine.com and check out our A+E and Events sections for other ideas.
Finally, please do us a favor. We would be eternally grateful if you could share this with some of your unsuspecting family, friends and neighbors. We’d also appreciate some love on our Facebook page (see below). Ok, technically it’s a “LIKE,” but don’t be pedantic. Also, that’s actually two favors. We’ll owe you.
Thanks for reading. Until next time…OH! One more thing. If you’re reading this via the website and would like to have this emailed to you bright and early every Friday morning, please SUBSCRIBE!
