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Banana Slicer gets rise out of everyone, at the expense of The Banana Republic

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Banana Slicer gets rise out of everyone, at the expense of The Banana Republic

The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer is quite the conundrum! The sleek engineering features afford mach-speed banana slicing, which would appear to have caused as many problems as it has solved, even contributing to the demise of The Banana Republic as it continues to deplete this single-purpose economy of its primary resource: The banana fruit.

A user review submitted by Uncle Pookie reads:


“Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using - it works much better. Ordering one for my nephew who's in the air force in California. He's been using an old slinky to slice his banana’s. He should really enjoy this product!”

Obviously a practical solution to his nephew’s problem, however, I’m left wondering: slicing his banana’s what? One might say that his nephew’s enjoyment of this product will depend on how effectively it slices what his banana’s need slicing of. The slinky’s spiral feature and dynamic engineering may win out on this one.

User stephenkg (Fort Lauderdale, FL United States) identifies a serious flaw with this model:

“This is a great fruit slicing solution and is long overdue. However, this product is not compatible with Apples. Are they working on an Apple version?”

Now, as an an apple user myself, I can totally relate to this user review. In fact, it makes me want to be on the board of advisors for Hutzler to ensure a solution is pushed through as quickly as possible. This oversight is simply unacceptable to us. As an Apple user, I pride myself in my intellect and can only conclude that this next user is a total MORON.

Review by: James Mellicant

"I carry it in my pocket just in case I wander into the grocery store or market and come upon any wild bananas. This way I make sure to pick only the right size with the right bend. Very important because if they have a bend to the left instead of the right it totally won't work. It's better to carry this in your back pocket (I'm a guy) instead of the front pocket because people will mistake it for something else."

Seriously, James? On the one hand, he’s right to make note that men should carry it in their back pocket. He’s obviously saved countless men from the same embarrassment one can only assume he experienced first hand. On the other hand, you have left bending bananas. I mean, COME ON, James…really? Just get the model 571B for left bending bananas and you can save yourself the embarrassment of carrying banana slicers in your pocket all together! Duh!  Moron!

Do you use this contraption? Do you have a review? Share them with me and I can help your overcome product issues or enlighten you on how to use it.


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